Volume 29, No.32                                           
August 15, 2004

The Right Fight

   In one of boxing’s most bizarre incidents, British fighter Tony Wilson won a victory that immediately ruined his reputation and put his career on the ropes.

   In September 1989, the 29-year-old light heavyweight was fighting Steve McCarthy.  McCarthy was winning and, in the third round, decked Wilson.  Just as the referee got to a count of eight, Wilson struggled to his feet but McCarthy pinned him to the ropes.

   That was all Tony Wilson’s mother could take.  Boiling over with rage, the 62-year-old jumped over a row of spectators, got past security and climbed into the ring before anyone could stop her.  Taking off her high-heeled shoe, she began beating McCarthy, opening a gash in his scalp.  Finally, somebody pulled her off the frazzled fighter and and hustled the irate woman out of the ring.

   When things quieted down, the referee ordered McCarthy and Wilson to resume the fight.  Still bleeding, McCarthy refused.  The referee then disqualified McCarthy and awarded the match to Wilson.  But within hours, international media coverage turned Wilson from a leading contender into a laughingstock.  All his earlier accomplishments were forgotten the minute he became known as the only boxer to ever win a match with help from his mother!  Humiliated, Tony Wilson banned her from all his fights, but the damage was done.

   As we know from our own experience, sometimes when we try to help others, it does the opposite. Good intentions;  bad outcomes.  It takes the wisdom of Solomon, the faith of Job and the heart of Jesus to know when and how to help somebody, and when not to.  Those decisions are often made harder by the unrealistic or unreasonable demands of others, or the self-condemnation that comes with a faulty  understanding of what God expects of us.

   Like a boxing match, each of life’s challenges comes with four boundaries within which the fight must be waged.  Those are the boundaries of individual responsibility, reliance on God, the need for  struggle that brings strength, and the contribution of Christian love and support.

   Rule number one:  it’s not enough to fight the good fight.  We must fight the right fight.  If it’s your match, stay in the ring.  If it’s not, stay out.  It’s absolutely vital that we all fight our own battles, meeting each challenge, choice and change head-on, without expecting rescue each time things get tough, and without feeling the need to rush through the ropes every time we see someone in trouble.

   That’s because if we constantly rely on others — or allow others to become dependent on us — it undermines the need for God.  Nobody will ever learn to trust Him if there’s always a quicker, easier option offered by flesh and blood.  Besides, when we let another person, or ourselves, do the work that rightfully belongs to the Spirit alone, it amounts to idolatry.  Instead, our confidence must be in Christ, “For every child of God defeats this evil world by trusting Christ to give the victory.” (1 John 5:4)

   Next time you’re tempted to run to someone’s rescue, be sure it’s not because you lack faith in God’s ability to change a heart or heal a hurt.  Look beyond the immediate circumstances to see if your action is rooted in impatience, as much as compassion.  And remember, even though it’s hard to watch those we love take a pounding, sometimes that’s the only way they’ll see the truth and make the changes that bring freedom, growth and maturity.  “No discipline is enjoyable while it’s happening — it’s painful!“  says Hebrews 12:11.  “But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.  So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs!”

   When others are duking it out with their own demons or dysfunction, be ringside, cheering them on with love, support and encouragement.  Be in their corner with advice and spiritual first aid.  But stay in your place!  Don’t worry, if it’s really necessary, their Father will rush into the ring.

By Rick Gamble, published in Cross Current, the weekly newsletter of the Followers of Christ congregation in Brantford, Ontario, Canada.  Reprint at will in not-for-profit publications.  To subscribe to this free, weekly article, contact sgamble@bfree.on.ca