Volume 29, No.13
March 28, 2004
The Art of Living
Francisco de Goya didn’t paint himself into a corner. He painted himself into
a coffin.
According to art historians, Goya was one of the greatest artists of all
time. But he would’ve been known only as the talented painter of Spain’s
royalty had it not been for a critical illness in 1792. Upon his recovery, the
46-year-old abruptly abandoned his very traditional portrait-painting and
embraced a dark, cynical style that made him world famous and inspired later
painters like Manet and Picasso.
So severe it almost killed him, the mysterious ailment afflicted Goya with
convulsions, partial paralysis, poor balance, manic depression, confusion,
temporary blindness and a permanent loss of hearing. After a long recovery, he
got back to work. But for the next 30 years, that cycle remained the same. The
artist would paint until he was too sick to work, then he’d rest and the
symptoms would disappear. That rollercoaster condition lasted until 1828 when
it triggered the stroke that finally killed him.
Though historians long assumed Goya’s recurring illness was syphilis, Dr.
William Niederland came up with a much more likely theory in the 1970s: the
artist almost certainly painted himself to death. How? Goya’s trademark style
was dominated by a mother-of-pearl shade that required huge amounts of white
paint, which contained lead. He also mixed into his palette a mercury compound
called cinnabar and — since Goya used gobs of paint and worked much faster than
his peers — it’s estimated he inhaled triple the usual concentrations of lead
and mercury. Ironically, it was that poison paint that altered his life’s work
and immortalized him. In a similar way, when a seeking heart is exposed to
divine truth, it leads to death and immortality of a different kind. And
despite what many believe, truth is knowable. It’s never easy, but it‘s
knowable.
When we use the truth of God’s Word and the Spirit who wrote it to colour
every aspect of our lives, it expresses itself with great passion and power and
paints a radically different picture of what our purpose, priorities and
personality should look like. Truth is sometimes bold and uncompromising but
often subtly nuanced and complex. Either way, it adds a vibrant hue and texture
to love and relationships. But be warned: truth will never leave you
untouched.
Close, chronic exposure to the truth will have a drastic and sometimes
devastating effect. Once you see that life is not what it seems; once you
understand that Me-ism and materialism are empty and unsatisfying, truth throws
into convulsions your entire view of yourself and your world. You find yourself
shaken to the core, confused and tossed between delight and depression.
Prolonged proximity to the truth upsets your emotional equilibrium, makes you
blind to your old way of seeing things and turns you deaf to the lies of worldly
influence. Slowly, invisibly and painfully, truth works upon your heart and
will until, finally, you die. Die to the world and its ways.
The only escape from such selficide is to walk away from the truth; to set
it aside until the yearning for change and repentance passes. With enough time
away from truth, its force upon our lives fades and we end up right back where
we started. Except, once exposed to the truth, it’s hard to stay away for
good. It’s almost as if we know intuitively Jesus was right when He said, “The
truth will set you free.” We find ourselves drawn back to the promise of a
clean canvas and a clear conscience, increasingly willing to expose the cynicism
and self-centredness of “the good life.”
In what we say and do, the more we wield the colour white — the colour of
purity and victory — the more concentrated the truth and its impact upon us.
Out of the ensuing struggle comes a compelling new depiction of Christ’s power.
When we finally do die to ourselves, each expression of his love and grace in
our lives will be seen as a Master work. We’ll be known for the art of living,
and we too will live forever.
By Rick Gamble, published in Cross Current, the weekly newsletter of the
Followers of Christ congregation in Brantford, Ontario, Canada. Reprint at will
in not-for-profit publications. To subscribe, contact
sgamble@bfree.on.ca